Manly: Dragon Slayers

24 – 6

LOL at my paint skills

I’m so sorry, but I could not resist making that. I am seriously laughing so much at this picture, sometimes I am so damn funny. And awesome too.   

Speaking of things that are awesome, how ’bout that ride in the Manly vs. Dragons match. How about it aye? Words cannot express the emotional rollercoaster that match put me through. It had everything!  Wolfman & Brett in suits, Trent getting “bashed in the berries” (thanks for that one Fox commentators), and T-Rex actually doing something right and then not stuffing up. Although in order to set the universe right again, it is inevitable that he will. And because he scored not one, not two, but three tries, it will probably be something huge like pooing in a hotel corridor, glassing his girlfriend, or breaching the salary cap by $1.7 million over five years.   

Yeah... Or Tony Williams scored three tries without f*cking anything up.

I would also like to point out that I am no longer the only person in Australia the WORLD who recognises the outstanding talent (and looks) of my Manly babies. Apparently so do the representative team selectors. Boo yah! Eight, yes eight of my boys backed up from the Australia/New Zealand test and the City/Country matches to not only defeat the Dragons (who, might I add, only had five players backing up), but to also resurrect any sort of hope my fantasy league team had of getting any points. (Just quietly, I am going to be totally screwed when Manly has a bye because half my team is made up of them.)   

Wolfman and Brett in SUITS!


My heart can't take it. They're so adorable!

The even lean together. OMFG!

In case you haven’t notice I am kinda, sorta, maybe, just a little bit obsessed/in love with Wolfman and Brett. In fact, I am 99.9% certain that Brett was my second ever crush… behind Ryan Girdler. But hey, who didn’t have a crush on Girds? He had it going on for the three ‘G’s’: Girls, Gays, and Grandmas. Plus, I was only like ten at the time (my love for NRL started at a young age k?), so Brett was my first real crush.   

As for Wolfman, words escape me. I could not love a human baby more than I love this man. Not only is he a manly legend/cult hero and one of the hottest men I have ever laid eyes on (not going to deny, he has been my phone wallpaper many a time), but I just know that if we met we would totally get along like a house on fire.    

(I was actually going to list the things that, in my mind, mean David and I would be total besties, but I got to ten and started to sound like a major stalker so I decided against it)   

I will however, say this. Some Year 11s (and you may notice I tend to hate on the year 11s at my school a bit, you can expect a post about it later) told me they didn’t think he was hot. If you know any other 17 year old female manly fans with eyes, the one thing you should never, under any circumstances, tell them you don’t think one of their players is hot. Seriously, just don’t. Anywayz, my point is that they thought his beard was *shudders* ugly. Wtf? Do men with ‘ugly’ beards have facebook groups dedicated to their crotch? (Saint David’s Crotch Appreciation) I don’t think so. And would I, whenever I go for my training runs, purposely run past the house belonging to the parents of a man with an ‘ugly’ beard? I say no. (Yes I do always run past his parents’ house… I figure the law of averages says his has to be there one day…. Doesn’t he?)   

Trent Hodkinson; We Feel Your Pain 

 Yeah, I struggle to find the words to describe this incident at the beginning of the second half.  

NOOOOOOO! (btw, nice ass Mr Sports Trainer)

  Let’s recap shall we. 

3 or so minutes into the second half, I notice that ‘OMFG WHERE IS TRENT BABY?!?!’ Because I do tend to keep my eye on my hotties in case of emergencies such as this one. (Like this one toyota cup match, it took me five minutes to realise Manly had scored a try and kicked a succesful conversion because I was watching one extremely hot guy limp off the field with an injured knee, but I digress…) I literally started crying actual tears when I realised that “Hodkinson is down in back play”  because he plays for manly, he’s hot, and he is an integral part of my fantasy league team. My beautiful boys were trying desperately to get the refs to call time out. When they finally succeeded in doing this, they cut to Trent baby rolling around in absolute agony. On the emotional rollercoaster that night, this was definitly the part where the ride is corkscrewing around in a circle and you are trying desperately not to throw up the dagwood dog you just ate onto the person next to you. It was a low point.  Then, the question of “WTF HAPPENED? SHITTTTTT! TRENT BABY ARE YOU OK?” is finally answered:    

Matt Cross gives Trent the ULTIMATE cock block

At first I laughed. Then I winced in pain. And then I cried just a little bit more for my future offspring *sniff* they never even had a chance 😦

It’s alright Trent, I still love you ♥
The sad, sad thing is that this is the fault of one former Stormer (thanks Channel 9) Matt Cross. I thought that donning the prestigious maroon and white meant he had changed from his evil Mexican ways (and by Mexican I do mean Melbournian), but it just goes to show that if the manly jersey can’t salvage their hopes of not being a prick, nothing can. Matt’s fist will not be getting any player’s player points like Gareth Ellis’ knee of Thurston’s family jewels.

Picture courtesy of Zimbio.com

Looks like he won’t be chasing any cougars for a while” – @fakebrycegibbs

Did I mention Tony Williams didn’t screw up?

Don’t get a big head T-Rex, you’re still not my favourite Williams, but dude you have earnt yourself +10 respect points and +36278631782  I’m-going-to-stop-hating-you-so-much points
It has come to my realisation that maybe, just maybe, Tony won’t have to screw up so bad to appease the football gods because I think scoring two tries cancels out his little DUI problemo. So the third try will hopefully only invoke a small sacrifice like say, losing his lucky undies or falling over or something.
You know why he became such a try scoring machine last night? Have you seen the size of him? It’s a wonder he’s called T-Rex and not like Brontosaurus or something else absolutely huge. Trying to tackle Tony Williams is about as easy as tackling a tree. You need a lumberjack to bring him down once those tree trunks, aka legs, get pumping.